One Big Happy by Rick Detorie
Copyright © 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010 by Creators Syndicate, Inc.
Copyright © 2012 by creators.com
Copyright © 2018, 2020, 2023 by Rick Detorie
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2003 | 9/28 |
Ruthie: Grandpa says that families are Natures way of keeping people from fighting with strangers!
Joe: Yeah!
Rose: Nick!
Nick: Rose, are we going to have to fight over this again?
Ruthie and Joe: See?
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2004 | 5/30 |
Ruthie: How come Phonics isnt spelled with an F?
| Topic: Spelling
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below: text checked (see note) when added
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2005 | 3/2 |
Ruthie: Theyre going to kick you out of kindergarten if you dont know your numbers! James, I know this stuff, and I can help you! Remember, in this world there are three kinds of people: those who can count ... and those who cant!
James: Huh?
| Topics: Mathematics
Two kinds
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12/14 |
James: Whats a jury?
Ruthie: Its a bunch of people who sit around and listen to both sides of the story ... and then decide who has the better lawyer.
| Topic: Law
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2006 | 9/1 |
Nick: Marriage is like any other job. Its much easier when you like your boss.
| Topic: Marriage
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12/4 |
Ruthie: Excuse me, you shouldnt be mean to your dog like that!
Mean person: Excuse me, dont you know that silence is golden?
Ruthie: Excuse me, not according to my grandpa! He says sometimes its just plain yellow!
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2007 | 1/2 |
Joe: Ill do most of the comic book, Ruthie. Maybe you can help color it.
Ruthie: No fair, Joe! I can draw! And Im a good word maker upper and putting downer on paper, too!
Joe: You mean a writer?
Ruthie: Yeah, Im a great one!
| Topic: Writing
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6/11 |
Ruthie: Mom, what are nudie tales?
Ellen: What?
Ruthie: The man who says the news said some cars crashed in the fog! And then he said he had nudie tales at eleven!
Ellen: New details, Ruthie.
Ruthie: Yeah, can I stay up and watch em?
| Topic: Puns
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2008 | 3/3 |
Ruthie: Whats taking them so long?!
Nick: Theyll be here soon, Ruthie. We have to be patient and wait.
Ruthie: Well, we need to wait a lot faster!
| Topic: Time
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10/2 |
Ruthie: Why do I always have to know what Im talking about, Joe? What kind of world would it be if everybody could only say stuff that made sense?
Joe: A much quieter world!
| Topic: Rhetoric
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2009 | 8/15 |
Rose: Channel 5s movie is about a saucy career woman whos morally flexible... Oh, my!
Ruthie: What does that mean, Grandma?
Rose: Uh... It means shes a working woman whos inclined to use spaghetti sauce from a jar!
Ruthie: I dont think thats it, but Ill let it go for now.
Rose: Thank you, dear.
| Topic: Morality
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2010 | 1/21 |
Nick: [...] you never hear of a man being shot by his wife while doing the dishes.
| Topic: Marriage
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2012 | 7/4 |
friend: Youve had a good long marriage, Nick. Whats your secret?
Nick: My Uncle Carlo once told me Youll save a lot of trouble if you marry your second wife first. So I did.
friend: Huh?
| Topic: Advice
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11/27 |
Nick [reading]: For the most part, the protest outside of the restaurant was peaceful until late in the day when souffles broke out in the crowd.
Spell check strikes again!
Rose: Thats the best one yet!
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2020 | 8/25 |
Nick: Roy, how long have you been driving?
Roy: Sixty-five years, and I aint never had an accident, though I did have a close call. I swerved my pickup to avoid a tree... but realized it was my air freshener.
| Topic: Driving
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2023 | 8/31 |
Frank: Whats your fortune cookie say, Joe?
Joe: A thousand plus two is your lucky number today.
Its not a fortune; its a stinkin math problem!
| 2024 | 2/1
(from 2018) |
Ruthie: Mom, shouldnt RV be WRV?
Wrecked reational vehicle has three words.
Ellen: Ruthie, well talk about this tomorrow. Go back to bed, please.
Frank: Reational is a word?
Ellen: Good night, Frank.
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2/28
(from 2018) |
Ruthie: Joe, whats a cheapskate.
Joe: Thats when you have enough money to buy both of them but you only buy one.
Ruthie: One what?
Joe: Skate.
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