Vaughn Bodē’s
Deadbone
The First Testament of Cheech Wizard, the Cartoon Messiah
Copyright Canada © 1975 by Northern Comfort Communication
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| Holy Spoken Token by Cheech Wizard |
In this one great Book are all the answers to the Universe, cleverly disguised so it won’t be too easy to root ’em out.
Consciousness is like a hamburger franchise, it’s cheap, and all over the place.
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Cartoons are Magic Works, real conjurings to lead yer bewildered and materially mired minds into new spaces. Send all yer money to my Popular Church. You got to be free, and I don’t mind the burden of yer bread.
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| Whispering Wind Hook |
Creature:
Well, let’s look at it dis way: Good is a flowerier’ warm feelin’ den tha good feelin of doin’ bad...
Lizard:
All morning you been talkin’ dumb things at me...Nobody can understand you since you bashed yer’ head on da’ overhang...
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Cheech Wizard:
Belief, . .is all we got to separate us from being a chunk.
| Topic: Belief
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| Brother Victory |
Brother Victory:
Ahh, yes indeed, son, if youse accept Father Scrump he will reward you in heaven, pile you wif gold an food an booze!.. Interested?.. Hum? Dis sinful life is no good for you, my boy..it death dat da’ good part!.. Soon as you up an die, life really starts!. But..you hasta’ accept Father Scrump first...
Boy:
I am happy already... I love da woods, an da sounds an my friends.. I love all dat...
Brother Victory:
Sinner! Dat’s da’ devil talkin’!. He deluding you so you’ll burn in brimstone!!
Boy:
Why I got to be dead to be happy?
| Topic: Churches
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Brother Victory:
“Scrump providith for dem what go out an gunch in’ his name”... Fark, Chapt. 1, Verse II
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| Tin Purpose |
Lackey:
We..ahh..we shoo used up lotsa’ great tin cups an spoons..an we hardly done scratched da’ surface...
Boss:
Shut up an scrape..or we’ll never get through..
Lackey:
Howcome...er... I forgot wot I was thinkin’...
Boss:
Dat’s why I’m da’ boss an you da’ lacky.. Scrape!
Lackey:
...How come we don’t jus go around dis here rock? How come we don’t do dat?..
Boss:
I tries to involve da’ boy in a lifetime of planned purpose an he got to start criticizing da’ program...
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| PiTBiT |
Lizard:
Welp’, I guess we has proved yer “falling object theory”.. We is all falling at about da same speed despite our respective weights... What about yer second smart theory?..
Scientist:
My “pressure cushion theory”?.. Very simple, but brilliant: as we fall down dis old volcano cone we builds up a invisible column of air under us dat will act as a cushion when we hits...
| Topic: Science
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| Morning Mourning |
Lizard:
I is thinking of things about stuff... When my tad brother was alive we useta’ come up here an sit an look an dangle our feets in tha’ air... Dat was yesterday ago... I thinks life is a good thing to be even if we gots to be dead tomorrow... Everything die in it’s own way, so I guess it all right by me, too.... Only...I get kinda’ lonely for my best tad brother.... We sure useta’ have great big times together... My goodest brother loved aliveness more den catchin’ sunbeam dust on a quiet day... We useta talk an talk...but now da wind blowin’ over da rocks an it kinda’ cold.. Maybe it almost morning...
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| Mossy Sparks |
Old lizard:
... Der was so much to do when I was jus’ a baby kid... Der was things to touch an see, things to esplore’ an laugh about... My heart bumped wif happiness... Der was trips to da village to sell Papa’s hot mushrooms, an games to play...an my best friends... Der was my secret place dat I forgot...an my special collection of rocks... Da years got gone...like da dust dat hangs in da warm light for jus’ a little while den goes away.. Dem was fine times to walk aroun’... Now...I is all full up an old... I is ready not to be anymore.
| Topic: Dying
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Cheech Wizard:
It’s up to you to dig out everyday cosmic truth.
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text checked (see note) Feb 2005
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